I’m not someone who has ever been described as being driven. There aren’t any quarterly, yearly or 5 year goals written on a vision board. No lofty ideas of reaching a level of professional status or net worth. I’m a quietly competent person who pays bills on time, exercises, eats well, drives a 15 year old car and delights in shopping at the library. It suits me to live a quiet life that might seem boring to others.

While recently listening to a podcast, I heard someone being asked if their idea of success had changed as they had gotten older. It was then that I realized I didn’t have an idea or definition for what it meant to be successful. The Oxford English Dictionary defines success as “The achievement of a desired result or outcome; the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. In later use often, the attainment of wealth, social status, etc.” It’s not that I disagreed with this, it’s that I hadn’t given thought to my desired result or outcome.

I suppose that if you asked people their thoughts on this, it might be different if they’re talking about themselves or someone else. Maybe they haven’t given it too much thought. That is, of course, what I’m asking you to do. What is your definition of success? How do you define a life lived well? What are you striving for?

Although I don’t have list of goals to achieve, I do have a rule of life that guides me. I’m not just winging it and hoping for the best. Rule of life can be traced back to the desert monastics of the 3rd century and was formalized in the Rule of Saint Benedict in the 6th century. The word “rule” refers to a trellis, a structure that supports growth. I think of it in terms of what do I want to focus on/ hold on to/ practice so that I can grow and blossom into the woman God made me to be.

As I thought about my list, I focused on the most important thing first, knowing that everything else would flow from it. If the first thing didn’t happen, the others weren’t likely to either. I started with abide, as in staying connected with God. From there my thoughts traveled to who I want to be, the ways I want to grow, the impact I want to have on those around me.

Words have always been important to me, but I wanted this to be more than a list of memorized Bible verses. In light of all that I believe, how do I want to live? After days of pondering ideas, the final list was written out and taped up to my wall of wisdom. Although it was memorized, the idea of posting on my wall made it seem more official. I’ll share it here, and perhaps it will inspire you to come up with your own rule of life.

Abide

Pause and pray

Listen with love

Be kind

Cultivate gratitude

Give generously

Guide me where I can grow and serve

Thy will be done